Prog4you.com - Metal Review - Empire

: : REVIEW : :

I’m rapidly reminded of an old Rocky and Bullwinkle episode, you know where Mr. Peabody enters his way back machine and suddenly you are in 1512 or 1776 or… Except with this disc the way back machine stops right around 1987 or so.

I would have sworn that David Coverdale was singing and Whitesnake was his backing band. I mean, like what?

What we have here is a classic uh… No, it’s time for a new phrase… Empire is the first in the new style Neo-Hair Metal. I do not mean a neo poseur bands like Poison or Cinderella or even Bon Jovi. I mean the better versions of this “style”, you know like TNT, XYZ, Dokken, Skid Row, even Whitesnake.

What we have here is a CD that if dropped down mid 80’s could have been ‘all the rage”. Why not! Half the players have PLAYED in mid 80’s styled bands. Let’s see… We have Rolf Munkes (ex-Vanize); we have Anders Johansson (Hammerfall), Neil Murray (ex-Whitesnake) and Don Airey (ex- Rainbow, Deep Purple and Silver). Even in the mixing process Stefan Kaufmann (U.D.O.) simple points to the fact that this CD was written, played and ultimately designed to be and sound like mid-80’s metal.

Guess what. WHAT A TOTAL BORE.

I’m not sure what is happening in Finland where this was released but y’all Finlanders need to get out more.

This CD is not anywhere as good as the sound or bands they want to “be like”. While the players may very well be more than competent, the song writing is absolutely piss poor. Guys, if you are trying to mimic what to this reviewer was a very good era for “pop metal” or “metal lite” as it were, then my friends, write good songs.

As much as I can affectionately state that mid 80’s metal lite lyrics were “cheesy” this stuff is like totally lame dudes and dudettes.

There is this song, track three named Teenage Deadhead. Now the former reefs of space explorer that I am, I perked up. Could this be a defining song? Could this add just the right amount of humor to this parody to make it fun?

NO!

So it is some love lost song with lines like…
“My world is dead and you killed it
with the things you did
My life is better without you in it
You’re a teenage deadhead…

What??????

It get’s worse in Big World, little man….

“Big world little man life isn’t yours to fool with,
you’ll lose it.
Big man little world to much to lose, believe it,
I mean it

YAWN. Okay maybe, just FN maybe if the players were total standouts this would just ROCK as a CD tribute to much better bands. Too bad, it isn’t here. If you simply must have an 80’s metal musical fix, go to the cut out bin and buy a Bullet Boys or Jackyl CD. At least those bands rocked. This one doesn’t. And if you are going to be a copycat, you darn well better be very good at it.

Rating: 4.5 of 10 for effort at least
Reviewed By: Stephen Ellis

: : Visit the artist website's : :
http://www.empire-rock.com/

: : Discography : :
Hypnotica - 2001
Trading Souls - 2003

: : Record Label : :
Lion Music Records